Snarfblatts and Dinglehoppers
by Twilight Zephyr
Summary: Jim's done a lot for his crew – it's only natural that they'd want to pay him back for all that he's done for them. S/K, crackfic, ksvalentine fic


**Notes:** Written for **ksvalentine** and my claim there. My apologies for the lack of updates, but this ate up my time because I had to get it finished for TODAY and real-life is a bitch sometimes and wouldn't let me work on it. There is cracky and cheesy goodness ahead and I bet you totally can't guess what movie and song inspired this... there are so many references in this it's not funny.  
**Title:** Snarfblatts and Dinglehoppers  
**Fandom:** Star Trek: XI  
**Pairing:** Kirk/Spock {main} ; Bones/Scotty ; Sulu/Chekov ; Uhura/Kyle  
**Rating:** pg  
**Words:** 2293 words  
**Prompt:** {Long prompt is long} Jim goes around making the day awesome for everyone - getting Uhura to meet up with her boyfriend (not Spock!), fixing Bones up with someone he's been wanting to date for a while, giving Chekov and Sulu the day off and maybe arranging a nice shore leave that they couldn't afford otherwise, etc. I can't think of anything for Scotty- maybe a dozen sandwiches and a new gizmo to tinker with? He arranged a vacation for Spock to meet up with his Vulcan fiancee on some other planet, where she was stationed and therefore survived the destruction of their planet... And then everyone gets back to work and realizes that Jim didn't get anything at all, and they band together to do something nice for him to show that he is appreciated. And Spock does and decides he loves Jim more than T'Pring, only Jim doesn't know this until the moment everyone gets together to do something nice for Jim.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Trek; it's the property of Gene Roddenberry and Paramount and a whole shitload of other people who I can't name cause I don't know but I'm sure that they're out there. I'm not them, and I don't own this, got it memorized?

**Snarfblatts and Dinglehoppers**

Jim's done a lot for his crew – it's only natural that they'd want to pay him back for all that he's done for them. Especially since it was Valentine's Day, and he was all alone, but they know that he'd been carrying a torch for his first officer for god knows how long, and their plan was simple: hook Jim and Spock up. It helped them immensely when they were able to get Spock in on the whole gig too.

For what Jim had done for each of them was enough reason for them to want to help him out. He'd given Uhura the day off which she'd used to spend just hanging out with her boyfriend down in the transporter room, and then Kyle had gone two steps further and prepared her this amazing romantic dinner for them back in his quarters when Jim had given the green light to his having time off too. And though Jim hadn't been sure what to give Scotty at first, he'd eventually just resorted to giving his chief engineer a huge plate of sandwiches along with the best scotch that he could get his hands on along with shore leave. He gave McCoy shore leave too, and sent him along with a rather expensive bottle of Saurian brandy.

Not that McCoy had given them much chance to not know about how his Valentine's Day had been spent; he'd been moaning and groaning about his ass the entire time. (_"God damn it Mon! I don't love you cause you break my ass all the time!"_)

Then there was Chekov and Sulu who were eternally grateful to Jim – not that they weren't already – because he'd gotten them a reservation at one of the most exclusive restaurants in the Federation. He'd pulled a lot of strings and even blatantly used his status as a Federation hero in order to get the reservation for the two, and they were so happy about that. Just like McCoy, they'd been all too willing to pitch in and help with Jim's 'surprise.'

It was when they were moored at Atlantica – where they had been moored for the past few days and it was a beautiful and romantic planet – that they chose to enact their plan. Jim technically had the day off, but he was working anyway. Uhura was the one to spirit Jim off the ship, and she shoved him as forcefully as she could into the turbolift with a few well-placed threats about what she and the rest of the bridge crew would do if they saw him back there without taking a break.

She shoved a note into his pocket as she pushed him in, and then waved as the doors closed in front of her. Kyle and the other transporter techs would take care of the rest.

The moment the doors opened, Jim was escorted a bit more roughly then he would have liked by a cheery blond red shirt who introduced himself as Lieutenant Kyle who had orders from Uhura to make sure that Jim actually made it down onto the planet surface.

It was a little disconcerting for Jim to realize that his entire crew seemed to be in on Uhura's plan, because all of the transporter techs who are on duty were smiling at him and wishing him luck. There were a few joking threats about him making sure to enjoy himself, but Jim was just confused by the whole ordeal.

He hadn't realized that there was a note in his pocket until he was beamed down and aimlessly walking down the low docks that he'd found himself on.

The handwriting was obviously Uhura's; it was her style because there were several embellishments that he recognized. The note told him that they'd prepared a 'surprise' for him, and that there was someone waiting for him down at the docks. Jim had no idea what to make of the whole scheme, but if Uhura had gone through so much trouble for him, then he wasn't going to let all of her hard work go to waste.

Of course, the last person that he expected to be there was Spock.

When he saw his first officer standing there, looking a little – maybe more then a little – uncomfortable in what he was wearing, Jim thought he looked, well, _**dashing**_. He'd never actually seen Spock wear anything other then his Starfleet uniform or the standard issue Starfleet blacks. So the fact that Spock was wearing something completely unlike what he normally wore... this had to be something huge.

His heart was thudding in his throat by that point.

"You came."

The words were surprisingly soft and unsure – Jim had never heard Spock sound anything other then a hundred percent confident in himself. It made Jim's heart's rapid beating speed up, and he wondered just what it was that his crew had planned for him as a 'surprise.'

It wasn't like he wasn't aware that he stood no chance with Spock. For one thing, the guy was _**engaged**_, and Jim had had the dubious honour to meet the emotionless woman who Spock just so happened to be betrothed too. He really didn't think that she deserved the Vulcan, but if it was her who Spock wanted, then he had no right to interfere with it – no matter how sure he was that T'Pring could care less for her fiancé. If she made Spock happy, then that was enough for him.

Or, at least, that's what he kept telling himself. He wasn't sure if he was succeeding anymore because then Spock does those unpredictable things that made Jim fall for him all over again.

"Yeah, Uhura practically shoved me into the turbolift – I don't know who else was in on this, but then her boyfriend was pushing me onto the transporter and well," he absently gestured around him, "here I am."

"She was successful then," Spock nodded briefly. And then almost hesitantly, he extended a hand to Jim. "Jim, if you would?"

Spock always avoided physical contact of any kind – and Jim wasn't ignorant, he knew the significance of the gesture that he'd seen Vulcan couples exchange – and to have Spock so blatantly offer to touch him. It was a lot for him to take in, and Jim just stood frozen there for several moments.

He could see the nervousness and _**uncertainty**_ in Spock's eyes, and he immediately realized his mistake in hesitating. Before Spock could drop his hand, Jim quickly reached out and grabbed the other's hand; entwining their fingers and giving his first officer's hand a brief squeeze and smiling broadly at him.

The smile seemed to set Spock a little more at ease, because the tension slipped out of his shoulders and he returned the gesture. Jim saw the corner of his mouth turn up just a little, and he knew that that was one of those Spock smiles that he loved so much.

Jim was broken out of his thoughts when Spock gently tugged on his hand and then indicated the small rowboat that was tied to the dock. Now that he thought about it, Jim glanced around quickly and realized that there were numerous other similar little boats tied up at the dock – in fact, they were the only type of boat that he'd seen.

"It is a common attraction of Atlantica to take one of these boats out into the lagoon," Spock explained. "The boats are automated to follow a programmed course and will not deviate from it unless an override is entered."

And Jim was pretty sure that it was the evening light that was playing tricks on Spock's face, because it looked like the Vulcan's ears had turned a little green. Spock quickly released his hand as Jim made to climb into the boat.

_Guess extended physical contact is still out of the question._

The water was calm, and Jim didn't have any problems getting into the boat. He'd grown up in Iowa, so the gentle swaying of the small boat did make him feel a bit disoriented, but it was easily ignored. When he looked at Spock, he was a little unhappy to see that the Vulcan didn't appear to be suffering from any ill-effects caused by the boat. Stupid Vulcans and their differing physiology.

Spock untied the boat from the dock, and the boat gave a soft, almost unnoticeable hum as it pulled out into the lagoon.

An almost awkward silence ensued, and Jim wasn't sure what to say. He wondered if Spock had been in on the plan, and was about to nix that idea when the Vulcan spoke up.

"Nyota believed that this would be a... suitable setting in which we could have this discussion."

Jim felt his throat tighten, and – if possible – it felt as though his heart was pounding even faster than before. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, managing to get out, "What discussion is that?"

"Jim," Spock began slowly; his voice rougher then usual. "I wanted to ask you – why did you arrange to have T'Pring come here to meet with me?"

Jim looked away, pointedly staring at the water as it flowed past them, "She's your fianceé isn't she? I thought you'd be happy to see her – especially on Valentine's Day."

"I would have preferred to have been informed of your course of action." Now Spock's voice sounded a little more severe; closer to what Jim was more familiar with. "T'Pring and I annulled our engagement some weeks ago."

Jim stared at Spock, mouth open and his eyes as wide as saucers. He had no idea what to say to that. Finally, though, he was able to get out a choked, "What?"

"Due to my commitment to Starfleet, it would be illogical for us to remain engaged if there was to be little chance of us ever consummating the union except for the few instances where it would be biologically necessary. T'Pring wished to take another as her consort as well, and I saw no reason to object to it as I am also interested in another. It was a mutually agreed upon annulment."

Still too stunned for words, Jim had nothing to say in response to that. Only an absent thought crossed his mind, and it went something like, _That sounded too good to be true._

Absently, Jim noticed that they were passing under a huge weeping willow whose branches appeared to be pulled back like curtains. He wondered if that was part of the attraction – it seemed like the only thing that was missing from this scene was a bunch of singing marine creatures led by a crab. In fact, the whole scenario seemed like it had been ripped from that animated children's movie about a mermaid. Jim couldn't remember the title.

He was jerked out of his thoughts by Spock's movements across from him.

Leaning forward, Spock took both of Jim's hands in his, thumbs stroking the knuckles. He stared at Jim – eyes dark and burning with an emotion that Jim was almost scared to name – as he spoke, "Jim, I am aware that it is a sort of custom on Valentine's Day for one to seek out the object of their affections and ask them to be yours."

Jim could feel his heart freeze, and he inhaled sharply. There was no way – Spock couldn't be – this wasn't happening to him!

His brain kind of died at that moment as realization sunk in.

Spock continued, undaunted by Jim's response, "I want you to be happy Jim," he took a deep breath, "And as I understand it, you would be favourable to a romantic relationship between the two of us."

It was at that moment that Jim found his response, and he nodded his head to go with his amazingly articulated response, "Uh huh."

He could tell Spock was laughing at him; his dark eyes were sparkling with mirth.

Jim hastily added, "Well, that's if – I mean, if you wanted to..." He trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say any longer.

"Jim, I would not be here discussing this with you if it was something that I did not want."

Jim's face split into a huge smile, "You really mean that."

"Of course."

"You really wanna be with me."

"Yes."

"Just me?"

"I believe that I already said this Jim." Spock sounded a little exasperated, but he was smiling a very small smile too.

Using their entwined hands, Jim pulled Spock forward as he leaned towards him, "I do love you, you know."

"I am very well aware of this Jim; and the feeling is mutual."

"Good." Jim paused, thinking for a moment, "I think we're supposed to kiss now."

"Indeed." And then Spock's lips were on Jim's and he couldn't think anymore.

Jim was dimly aware that little fountains were going on around them, but he could care less because Spock was kissing him and had just said that he'd loved him and he was floating on cloud nine and the rest of the world just didn't matter anymore.

When the two of them finally emerged for air, Jim chuckled and said, "I think we're lucky that the boat didn't capsize before we got to kiss."

Spock raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"Nevermind – old movie reference."

"Oh."

And that summed up Spock's understanding of the matter.

**FIN.**

**.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.**

A special thanks to **ansera** for betaing this and making sure that I actually finished this on time because without her I would have died and this fic would have been horribly confusing and just plain bad.

Feedback is love and I'm handing out cookies for catching the (extremely obvious and redundant) movie reference contained herein. Man, I shouldn't watch certain movies past midnight or else my muses take over and become evil little buggers and stuff like this is born. Still, hope it is enjoyed.

Twilight.


End file.
